THIRTY METHODS OF INFLUENCE

We all want to have positive influence with certain people in our personal and professional lives. Our motives may be win new business, keep customers, maintain friendships, change behavior, or improve marriage and family relations.

But how do we do it? How do we powerfully and ethically influence the lives of others? There are three basic categories of influence: 1) to model by example (other see); 2) to build caring relationship (others feel); and 3) to mentor by instruction (others hear).

Who you are and how you act

1.      Refrain from saying the unkind or negative thing

2.      Exercise with patience with others

3.      Distinguish between person and the behavior of or performance

4.      Perform anonymous service

5.      Choose the proactive response

6.      Keep the promises you make to others

7.      Focus on the circle of influence

8.      Live the law of love

Relationship: do you understand and care?

1.      Assume the best of others

2.      Seek first to understand

3.      Reward open honest expression or question

4.      Give an understanding response

5.      If offended take the initiative

6.      Admit your mistake, apologize, ask for forgiveness

7.      Let arguments fly out open windows

8.      Go one on one

9.      Review your commitment to things you have in common

10.  Be influence by them first

11.  Accept the person and the situation

Instruction: what you tell me

1.      Prepare your mind and heart before you prepare your speech

2.      Avoid fight or flight-talk through difference

3.      Recognize and take time to teach

4.      Agree on the limits, rules, expectations and consequences

5.      Don’t give up and don’t give in

6.      Be there at the crossroads

7.      Speak the language of logic and emotion

8.      Delegate effectively

9.      Involve people in meaningful projects

10.  Train them in the law of the harvest

11.  Let natural consequences teach responsible behavior